Braising my Beef

me and my twentysomething friends all cringe at the idea of turning 30… hah, IM THE LAST ONE TO DO SO!!! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

in any case, i think i like where i am right now. 26. old enough. i know i should be doing this on the eve of my birthday, but who cares? im feeling a little bit old right now.

i went on checking out ann’s friendster and kinda comparing my "youth" from hers. she’s 22 and she’s not yet done partying! well, here in the states you legally party at 21, with that in mind im thinking that she has a looong way to go from there. I, on the other hand feel that i have been there and done that.

well, i used to be an alcoholic. given the right amount of people around me and the right food and liquor im gonna quit sobriety cold turkey. hahahahhaa. i’ve seen myself puke, black out, fall on my heels and puke some more…. there have been episodes of almost peeing my guts out because of sheer laziness to shed water off my body, and episodes of "how did i get here?" and "where am i?"

on days when i really miss the dressing up and going to party, i miss my media friends and big sky bartenders and barmates. i miss getting sloshed and not knowing how i got home — and i mean getting sloshed and loving it, not getting sloshed because i had no other choice but to do so.

as much as i loved my relaxed and somewhat lazy lifestyle, i miss that old lifestyle.

i want my happy hours back. i want my friends asking me what i will be wearing to an 8 dollar entree place.

i want to go walking around manhattan and not feeling my painful toes from wearing heels and alcohol.

i want to go drinking in manhattan, period. (maybe i will run into that abercrombie and fitch model lookalike.)

i remember aggie telling me with nostalgia how she felt that she was in america when she saw my generic target brand stuff. for my blogger’s record aggie, i did feel the same way when i saw all the generic stuff at leeann’s old crawford apartment.

most of the people i know complain how walmart is far from their place. (yes, most of the people i know like the generic-bastion-of-american-consumerism-products) and i am one of them. although there are targets and kmarts abound, i long for my taste of walmart shopping.

with my bf trying to get his old vaio traded in for gift certificates at the sony store in woodbury commons, i asked him to drop me off at the wal-mart nearby — which was a little bit more exciting for me since i already went to that outlet yesterday and i was out to get my $30 electric blanket from walmart (thanks to the internet listing) and boy was i happy. that 45 minute drive have brought me to a 24 hour wal-mart! definitely a dream come true!! (hahaha, i know you would be hitting me with anything handy right now for having exchanged the outlet trip with a wal-mart trip… but read on..)

oh what a nightmare it was. it was the most crowded, both with stock and people, store i have ever seen. flashes of my past walmart trip in edison nj went rushing back and it was horrible. although it is the cheapest among the three (walmart, target and kmart) it is certainly the most depressing of all. there were throngs of jewish women (who are obviously not in need of any kind of discount or price rollbacks) and a load of barely scraping it american families.

the goods were in utter disarray and pile stocked 10 feet high with very very small directional signages. dont get me wrong. i ultimately love shopping at target, but walmart really disappointed me.

the most troubling fact of the whole experience is the fact that there wasnt tmobile service after 30 yards from the door. aargh.

it wasnt a pleasant experience but at least it solves one of the many mysteries that plague me. now i know why there are so many jewish people who are at the woodbury commons — they have spilled over from the walmart.

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though i dont like turkey, i love thanksgiving for its sales. and thanks to thanksgiving sales i now own a new pair of boots for 35 bucks, a pair of loafers for 17 (both from bass), 2 new scarves and a fleece sweater all for $20 (from old navy) and a new anne klein trench coat for 35 bucks and a dkny coat for free as an xmas present from filene’s basement — and 40 dollars of filenes basement money… so all in all, my thanksgiving wasnt so bad… even after throwing a post turkey sit down dinner for 10.

now i am broke. and thanks to that new coat, i dont look like a bag lady anymore.

i used to have blah feelings about leftovers. its not that i dont like it, its just that if i have other options, i wont eat it. still, i eat leftovers.

i grew up in a house that splurges in the supermarket rather than clothing stores. until now, i am a true testament to my mother’s training on spending money. funny how i remember the feelings of triumph we have over finishing leftovers on a saturday or sunday lunch. the end of leftovers marked the beginning of a new dish.

i guess i have been living eros and ping’s house motto. nothing goes to waste in their house.

after living alone and eating alone and cooking for one (on the weekdays) i have learned to looooove leftovers. it is funny how i excitedly walk the 3 streets and 4 avenues to the 6 train and hurry home to eat my dinner of leftovers. its like eating tv dinners, only a lot better.

strangely, i have not completely morphed into the take out monster that most people are. i hate takeout chinese for dinner (because i mostly pass it through my body for lunch) and mostly i cook meals. i am a different hybrid of picky eater. i hate tasteless takeout made bland to suit the boring american palate.

i love leftovers for the supreme fact that it gives me the illusion that i come home to a cooked meal. mostly, i love leftovers because im just too hungry to make anything for myself, or decide on what food to buy for myself.

not that im complaining. ive never had my own car in my entire life, and its just weird that my bf doesnt have a car to use. hertz points notwithstanding, he is one of the people i know who take pity on himself when his trusty accord aint working.

somehow, im a bit thrilled with this because we finally get to subway new york city. i know it is weird to be excited about taking public transport–he actually likes driving into the city and looking for street parking.

this time, its my turn on the wheel. i finally get to steer him into anyplace without thinking about where to park. really, new york city is one annoying place if you have a car.

im thinking of doing the sony wonderlab in madison and 56th. havent been there and kids like us will love it and start complaining why we didnt have attractions like it when we were kids. maybe i’ll even try to get into the other side of the west village, the part where magnolia bakery is.

ive also thought of going top of the rock, but im thinking id rather see it when the christmas tree is up and running. the rockefeller christmas tree is now planted on solid concrete, few feet high above the skating rink complete with scaffolding. the christmas decorations are probably still on hold at some fedex warehouse.

hmm. now that i thunk it. maybe a central park carriage ride will be nice.

aaaah. finally. a tour of the city without thinking about parking.

i love ny.

i’ve been busy.

that would be the perfect excuse to why i havent been blogging. the funny thing is, i really have been lazing around.

and spending time like it doesnt waste away.

for the most part, i have not been in my head. not that im confused or anything, im just pretty much dazed. you see, my job pretty much asks me to be present and do the tasks that is required but it doesnt really need that much attention like sorting the mail, making coffee and delivering stuff to our clients.

i have been spending my weekends nowhere near my apartment. lo and behold, laundry is a piling. finally ive made a conscious effort to clear up the mess but my body aches from reorganization that somehow from the looks of it i have made more mess than cleared it. though i must say, i have changed my sheets, relocated my shirts from one part of the cabinet to the other and finally installed the second half of my curtains.

then there are bed issues. a couple of months back, i purchased a mattress because the one that i was using gave me back pain. now, the box springs gave out so new mattress is on the floor. less back pain, but wanting new bed. i have improved on the number of snoring hours since i moved my great mattress on the floor, but it aint the same as before. now, im thinking about putting back my mattress pad — and something tells me that i should wait until the bed comes in. (dalselv from ikea. full size, $99 bucks.)

it is turkey day once more (shoo bi dooo heeeey heeeey), and here am i thinking about what to wear to the turkey dinner at my aunt’s place in bergenfield. stingy that i am, i have decided to wear one of mine that they havent seen. they wont notice anyway. do they even care if i have a new sweater to have turkey stains on? dont think so.

rich told me once that i reminded him of parmindar nagra. i saw her first on bend it like beckham, and MAN WAS I APPALLED. of course, rich was confused because he ultimately thinks it was a compliment… after seeing her in her not-a-curl-out-of-place-hairdo wearing a white coat and chandelier earrings, i humbly retract my violent reaction. let it be known that i remind rich of parmindar nagra (but only when she looks fab.) hahahaha.

this whole i-look-indian thing isnt just rich’s idea. his son, migs, even calls his indian speech therapist "anjan" (in the miggyworld, its "janjan") instead of angela. kids his age dont lie.

i never really thought of myself looking indian i saw a panget version of me who was from india. there’s also all of these people in the diamond district who think that i am…

maybe im just sleepy. i should doze off.