Braising my Beef

ive always had a roomie. ive had very very good ones and very very bad ones. some of them dont really stick to my memory and some of them i hope to see somewhere except a porn flick.

now, i have two roomies. taba and itim. ive been roomies with taba for maybe a year, and itim for probably half the year, and let me tell you that im pissed with itim.

first off, she called me "a person from the boat" that i overheard from a conversation. well, i really am, but somehow, its offensive when someone not of your kind calls you that… its like me calling a black guy "my niggah" in any case, being the educated woman that i am, i let it pass — just snickering to myself that at least, i didnt give up going to college to be a prestigious saleslady at macy’s.

taba, save for her sometimes slobby kitchen habits, really dont piss me off since i barely see her, and i just chuck everything in the sink whenever she forgets something on the table. she dont have the holier than thou attitude to begin with, so she doesnt get on my bad side.

itim, just leaves her big ass plates in the sink. it occupies half the small sink space and just argh. annoys me. finally, AFTER THREE MONTHS OF LEAVING IT THERE, SHE FINALLY WASHES THEM ALL! of course, let me be the one to tell you that her dishes and spoons never dried out because i was really attempting to rust her "precious blue spoons"

i am forever thankful that she finally cleared the dishes because i almost poured a bottle of nail polish remover to damage her "precious japanese bowls" (trust me, she was so proud of these, like she was telling me "how come you dont own anything oriental?" durh!) she saved my karma points. im hoping that thinking bad things to do to her dont cost me any of my karma points.

taba and i were at a rantfest last night and she told me that itim ANNOYS HER. she complained that she was such a kitchen hog that she never bothered to remove herself from the kitchen because she loves watching tv, and she laughs so loud that i, who has two rooms between the kitchen can hear it.

the best part is, taba kicks the wall that divides her and itim’s room just to wake her up in the middle of the night.

hahaha. classic.

itim is the most paranoid bronx native ive met. she checks the locks on the doors at 4am!! one day, i will make her REALLY praning and unlock the doors when she is the last one to get in.

nyahahahahahaha.

i used to love my birthday. really, i do.

i dont like it as i used to. first of all, IT ALWAYS RAINS ON MY BIRTHDAY. having spent my birthdays in the heat of manila summers, it totally sucks during the spring in new york. you know, carrying your umbrella and all that.

second of all, i hate the fact that all my friends are not here with me. i miss all my drinking buddies, and i miss the friends that i have back home who would make me suffer in the name of fashion (that would be ayet and jojo) and the fact that i would always go home reeking of alcohol about 5 days a week. i miss ronnie, who would never turn down a drink or two or four, or was that a drink or three or five?

i miss big sky mind, my favorite bartenders hank and orly who know that im one of the few people who drank san miguel pale pilsen like a real man, and the rest of the world who hangs out there and make it feel like my own cheers bar where everyone knows my name.

then there’s the great schedules and distance between the friends you would like to see the most. i do have loads of friends here in new york, but everyone is just all too occupied with what they do. i miss hanging out that it bored me.

i hate growing up. the responsibility and the great pressure to keep everyone pleased, to say the least. i hate the fact that my expectations out of life grew exponentially that the disappointments just get more difficult to bear.

i hate growing old.

having gone to a wedding this weekend, i realize that ive come to the end of celebrating life’s milestones by age. it used to be prom season, graduation season, debut party season, college graduation season, and then first salary season. all of those are dictated by age and achievement. at my very young age of 28, it is engagement season, bachelorette party season, wedding season and hopefully baby shower season.

not that im in a hurry to get married. im just more scared of its permanence, even with the possibility of divorce.

from the point of a single girl, marriage is about giving up your independence. decision making, own place, own money and own everything. no romping in clubs and lounges at the lower east side, no getting kicked out of clubs in the meatpacking district, and no instantaneous dinner plans with coworkers. from that day on, it will be a consensus.

consensus is something that i dislike.

i wonder, after writing (both professionally and personally) for so long, i dont get why i make less sense, and sound less coherent than when i started doing it.