Braising my Beef

i am both to my siblings.

i usually get along well with brothers. this whole brother business baffles lee (because her brother in law talks to me) and michelle (because her brother talks to me) - but to me its something that just comes naturally.

sisters are an entirely different league. i barely get along with girls, and although i do have girlfriends - i am equally picky with my girlfriends and the guys i date. i hate the unmentioned competition - who has the bigger boobs, the flatter tummy, the more expensive handbag, boyfriend with a better car etc. etc.

i used to say that any girl that my brothers would date should be fine with me - and trust me, i thought i was that boyfriend’s sister who was easy to get along with. although ive proven this to two of their exgirlfriends - and i am friends with the exes, there is this girlfriend that i think could never get along with.

yes, i despise her and the mention of her name extremely annoys me.

after this, i realize why my ex’s sister hated me (if you know who you are, arent you glad this entry is for you?). she hates me for no reason at all. maybe im not like her, maybe she’s jealous or maybe im not up to par. in hindsight, yes on the first one, probably on the second and no on the third.

it is a case that i cannot argue because i will lose anyway.

one day, one of my friends tell me that she bought a nice gift for her bf’s sister who hated her guts. of course she was mad and annoyed with it, and she’d rather have the gift for herself - but she was trying to be the pleasant brother’s girlfriend.

of course, i felt bad for her - i know what it feels like to be in her shoes. with my sympathy, i told her - no matter what you do, even if you save her life - she will never like you.

its harsh, but its real.

take it from the standpoint of the sister who hates her brother’s girlfriend.

of course there is revenge. my brothers never liked anyone i dated. (nyahahaha)

why me?

why now?!

one of my friends told me that he used to have the hots for me way back when… now that he’s gonna get married. HAR. HAR. HAR.

so why me? why now?

something tells me that he needs to tie a few loose ends before tying his knot, but WHY MY LOOSE END? actually, now that i track it back we dont have any loose ends to deal with! its just hilarious.

as camille said "these people’s heads should be rammed on a brick wall!"

but whatever it is, i hope it turns out well for him. congratulations, dude!

thanks for blowing up my ego.

i hope nobody does this to me again! (if im the "one that got away" in your very own life’s telenovela, for crying out loud keep it to yourself — unless you hear about me trying to commit suicide. CAPICE?!)

if you cant do anything about something, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!

today i saw this in person.

it is by far very very impressive. first of all, its not life-sized. IT IS HUGE but very very lifelike. the 5 o’clock shadow is phenomenal, and the skin tone is perfect.

i schlepped my ass to brooklyn museum and in the few weeks that ive been touring museums on my own, i must say, this particular trip made me want to drag all my friends to brooklyn and see him. ron mueck IS ONE HELLUVA GUY.

i didnt even devote too much time on his art as i was running out of time to see annie leibovitz’ exhibit. hers is closing this weekend, and i feel so bad for not catching it earlier! i would have devoted more time to her photographs. (annie is the one who took that naked pregnant demi moore picture)

her photographs just made me feel so bad about the missed opportunities of shooting. it inspired me though. one thing i learned today - there are no bad pictures, each one has a story to tell.

—————–

i remember asking a friend of mine if i should keep pictures of my exes or not. i was advised to keep them, they would be handy in the future to look back and laugh.

i agree.

after my failed attempt to catch the masters of american comics and superheroes:good and evil in american comics at the jewish museum before the hulabaloo of moving from one apartment to another and the holidays, i finally managed to schlep my ass back to 92nd street at central park east.

way back when i was an honorary alamater, i read comics. in fact, i am a fan of warren ellis and the transmetropolitan series (and yes, id like to be jakita wagner). for the most part, i read dexter’s laboratory — i think i still have the whole stack in manila, and if its not there, its with my ex. after holding on to mark’s green lantern #1-10 with kevin smith as a guest writer somewhere (and this one was good!) i kinda lost interest with reading comics. i even have a friend who inks for marvel or dc (i forget which one, but at the last time i checked, he was inking superman). another friend of mine wrote and drew a comic book that became a musical and a movie back in the philippines! (hail hail zsa zsa zaturnnah! mabuhay ang kagandahan mo!)

catching this show sort of reminisces me back when i was annoying budj and the rest of alamat crew and god how i wish you guys were here! (yes, i can still make the escallion for you!)

in this exhibit, which is a lot of original panel drawings from the 30’s and 40’s - there was even the original profile sketch of superman, i learned that comic books were started by the jewish people as a way to make a living where their faith wasnt discriminated against. at first, this factoid was fascinating to me - immigrant america is a hard place to be, but how true is this statement when im in a pro-jew museum?

one of the things i regret not doing at this particular visit is to take down notes. maybe i should go back one last time this coming saturday just for that.

did you know that superman is jewish (by birth)? (the creators are jewish, and maybe kryptonite isnt kosher—its preparation was not approved by the rabbi, thats why superman gets weak in its presence. hehe) funny part about the story of superman was that his character didnt seem viable at his conception that his original creators were forced to sell him to another company.

there’s more interesting stuff about this exhibit, but i was just all too lazy to deal with taking down notes, and i have forgotten everything. i would have taken pictures, but photographs were forbidden in the exhibit.

one little factoid of the museum - it has two elevators. since i went on a saturday, one had an elevator operator and the other one didnt. the one that had an elevator operator is the shabbat elevator. something tells me that the elevator operator is only there on saturdays so the religious jews dont have to press which floor they are going to.

why can’t they just take the stairs? (because they can afford to pay for an elevator operator!)

so i finally move my ass to queens. anyone and everyone who knows me know that i didnt like the idea of living in queens. ive lived in the bronx for the past two years and a year in brooklyn. i still long for that old bronx apartment because ive grown to love it so much. its sad that the landlord is selling the place and i didnt want to be stuck without an apartment, so i puled and puled and ended up with two middle aged and married men as my roommates.

yes, let me say that again. my roommates are both middle aged, and married. why they were living with each other without their wives before i moved in is something to be thought about, but that’s their telenovela to narrate, not mine.

one of the other reasons why i didnt move to queens is the fact that i didnt want to be a cliche. the pinay who lives in queens (im too maarte, i grant you that.). hey, im part of the statistic now, so i guess no fretting or complaining about it. another reason was the fact that at the time i found my (almost) first queens apartment i was in a relationship - and god knows how jealous and insecure filipino men are (in general, but i lucked out with one who was extremely jealous and insecure), i backed out. owe it also to the fact that it felt a bit too expensive to move in with them (since it was almost 50% more than what i was paying) and the greater fact that the almostfirstqueensapartment was found by my ex’s mother.

i was too friggin proud to accept help that felt like i was being ejected from her 30+ year old son’s place. (the story is longer, but hey, thats done and over with.) so i didnt move in with dex and his roomies, ended up being friends with him instead.

i should have moved in with them around sometime last year but i was too lazy and assy to move, and my closet was humongous - with 40 purses to deal with, what’s a girl to do? at this rate, i knew for a fact that my ex hated dex (haha, that rhymes.) and again, i didnt move in with them. (it was also at the time that i was so hopeful that the relationship is gonna work out - lesson learned: make your decisions based only on your opinion unless you are married.)

so when carlos the landlord told me about him moving in with his girlfriend in jersey and selling all his properties, i panicked. i told everyone i knew about the predicament, and within two weeks, jerry told me that his roommate was moving out and that i could move in with them.

so what it is like living with two middle aged married men? ITS GREAT!!!!

ive never gone home to a kitchen sink full of dishes! i wake up to a nice filipino breakfast (yes, there is rice!) and come home to a great home cooked meal, courtesy of my chef du jour - he cooks so good that i have renounced my kitchen queengoddess title! no, not jerry. jerry is too lazy to cook. tolits does. and if tolits is still in bed by the time jerry gets up and looks for breakfast, he wakes tolits up, makes him cook breakfast, then wake me up. after eating, i go back to sleep and jerry takes care of the dishes! oh its the life of a princess. (i still cook sometimes, but i definitely avoid cooking filipino food because he’s better at it than me!)

god knows how long this sitcom of a living arrangement will be- but at the rate im going i must say, i love living in my present apartment.

if any of you gets into a living situation where the rent is reasonable, cable tv is free (with tfc, but i dont watch it much) and someone makes you breakfast AND dinner, i suggest you get in there and sign up.

oh did i also mention that both of them own cars and drive me around to do grocery shopping?

welcome to queens!

its the season to be really shopping. then again, ive been shopping sort of nonstop for the past few weeks - and enjoying the sales.

i love clearance racks. i love it more because ive been scoring stuff at banana republic for less than 15 bucks - great tops and bottoms. yes, im that cheap.

anyway, so i finally gave in to buying pants that are not denim - if only because of the price. 12.99. i dont like buying non denim pants because of the maintenance involved - ironing and what not. but since these are a cross between cargo pants and slacks, its not that bad.

since i fit bad with gap jeans - i kinda surmised that id be a size 6 or 4 with BR. im currently a 4 at express and old navy, so it made sense to try both. anyway, when i tried on the 4, it was a bit loose.

i asked for the size 2 and lo and behold. THEY FIT SO WELL.

hah! finally im a size 2.

now the question is, will i fit in a size 2 jeans? does that mean im gonna lose my butt? hahaha.

yeah i know this is one of the most senseless postings that ive posted. ask me how i am, im gonna answer - SIZE 2!

oooh look! my camera is aaaaaliiiiive!

i had dinner with aggie, anette and chippy last night and boy, wasnt my belated christmas present from aggie a blast! (lee, yours is great too! so dont fret) i she got me a gorillapod.

that’s right. a gorillapod. its a tripod that is so jointy that the legs can wrap itself on various places (and yes, even bannisters, even my head - if only my hair wasnt so slippery) and its a great great thing to have! no more putting everythign on top of one another just to get a good shot.

we were out in front of cafe lalo and as i was fixing my new gadget (so environmentally friendly that it does not require batteries!) people who passed by were looking at how i tried to position the gorillapod on a planter. its great! its so cute that it matched my camera so much that it looked like it has legs - and its gonna eat my cake. (of course, that;s a silly picture, and the white stuff in the glass is not vanilla milkshake. its soymilk)

i dont make sense anymore, but hey, i like my new thingamajigy. looks like my camera will forever sport its three legs.

1. How old will you be in five years?
* 32 (and lee will STILL be OLDER!
mwahaha)

2. What month is your birthday?
*april

3. How tall are you?
* 5′2"

4. What do you look forward to most in
the next week?
* sari’s movie showing at the moma.

5. What’s the last movie you saw?
* the pursuit of happiness. it wasnt a happy movie!

6. Who was the last person you called?
* Madder.

7. Who was the last person to call you?
* my roomate, because i was too excited to meet up with chippy that i forgot my keys and metrocard.

8. Who was the last person to text
message you?
* Em or michelle. i forget.

9. Do you prefer calls or text?
* text during office hours. calls when im in need of anti frizzy hair advice.

10. Do you have any pets?
* no

12. Are your parents
married/separated/divorced?
* my mother is a widow.

13. When wass the last time you saw
your mom?
* 2 years ago

14. what color are your eyes?
* dark brown

15. What time did you wake up today?
* 9am because there was breakfast that was laid out on the table. i am the princess!

16. What are you wearing right now?
* black shirt, and…

17. What’s your favorite Christmas
song?
* baby its coooold outside…

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
* in your mind! hahahaha

19. Where is your least favorite place
to be?
* the F train in the mornings! stinky straphangers!

20. Where would you go if you could go
anywhere?
* around the world.

21. What do you think you’ll be in 10
years?
* a wife and a mom (i have to think positive!)

22. Do you tan or burn?
* tan!

23. What did you fear was going to get
you at night as a child?
* none, i guess. i wasnt a very scared child.

24. What was the last thing that made
you laugh?
* aggie and chippy making fun of the japanese threesome at cafe lalo.

25. Have you ever gotten stitches?
* yes

26. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
* the beach without a shadow of a doubt.

27. Do you prefer a window seat or an
aisle seat?
* aisle. so i can get to the bathroom without problems.

28. Do you know how to drive stick?
* yes, in theory that is.

29. What is your favorite thing to
spend money on?
* food and everything on sale.

30. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
* my ultra tiny pearl earrings.

31. What is your favorite TV show?
* anthony bourdain’s no reservations.

32. Can you roll your tongue?
* what kind of tongue rolling are we talking about?

33. Who is the funniest person you
know?
* myself.

34. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
* not now. frusty the bear is on top of my cpu.

35. What is the main ring tone on your
phone?
*some samsung default.

36. Do you still have clothes from
when you were little?
* dont think so.

38. Do you turn off the water while
you brush your teeth?
* no. if i do the water will get cold.

39. Do you sleep with your closet
doors open or closed?
* i dont have closet doors. i took them out as soon as i moved in here.

40. Would you rather be attacked by a
big bear or a swarm of bees?
* i think a swarm of bees costume is hard to find.

41. Do you flirt alot?
* hahaha yes! always disastrous.

42. What do you dip a chicken nugget
in?
* sometimes i eat my chicken nugget without sauce.

43. What is your favorite food?
* chocolate.

44. Can you change the oil on a car?
*most likely if it was shown to me.

45.Do you like video games?
* not really. i suck at playing them.

46. Have you ever gotten a speeding
ticket?
* nope. i dont drive!

47. Have you ever run out of gas?
* how i wish. im gassy! haha

48. What is your usual bedtime?
* midnightish

49. Do you read the newspaper?
* no, but we have a stack of star magazine in the bathroom. those, i read!

50. Do you have more than 10 cds?
* yes.

51.Who is the best comedian?
* mu kuya

52. Do you watch soap operas?
* nope

53. Do you dance in the car?
* i dance everywhere!

01.is there anyone on your
mind right now ?
- wala.

02.where is the last place you went?
- cafe lalo at the UWS

03.who was the last person you called?
- accdg to my phone its madder.

04.who do you like more, your mom or
dad ?
- madder.

05.do you have any siblings?
- 2 of them

06.do you smile often?
- yup. i get compliments from strangers for it.

07.do you think that someone is
thinking about you right now ?
- i dont know - i hope so.

08.do you wish on stars?
- no.

09.do you untie your shoes every time
you take them off ?
- no. i untie them before i put them on.

10.when did you last cry?
- at dinner with mia last thurs. i was laughing at my kuya’s superhero henna tatoo.

11.do you like your handwriting?
- yup. there are days in the office that i would write airwaybills just to keep writing.

12.are you a friendly person?
- i can be if i want to.

13.who’s bed did you sleep in last
night?
- mine.

14.what color shirt are you wearing?
- black

15.do you have any pets?
- nope

16.what is the color of your bed?
- unbleached wood.

17.what were you doing at 9 last night?
- walking around the west village

18.i can’t wait until…
- im living in manhattan

19.is tom on your friends list?
- no, but once i download the pics from my camera, im posting it.

20.look to your right. what’s there?
- bed

22.ever cried yourself to sleep?
- oh of course.

23.ever cried on your friend’s
shoulder?
- yup.

24.song that makes you cry?
- wala.

25.are you normally a happy person?
- yup. almost to a fault. just ask budjette.

26.has anyone ever said ‘i love you’ to
you ?
- of course.

27.is your self-esteem extremely low?
- not exactly. though id have days when id force my roommates to say that im pretty. or force my coworker to say that my hair is niiiice. (and he says "yes, its very fine.")